Finding Peace

At work this week, a friend came to me, and I could tell by her face that she was troubled. Her life has taken some unexpected turns of late. Things that once seemed clear are no longer certain. Present circumstances aren’t at all what she envisioned for this stage of her life. Understandably, she has questions of why, how and when.

We talk often, and she knows about the personal burden I’ve carried for over a year. She wanted to know how I keep on going, seemingly with grace and ease. How do I keep on keeping on, despite the dark clouds looming over each step I take?

She’s a person of faith, and, of course, I told her that I still have meltdown moments, when the tears just won’t stop falling—I had one the other night. But what keeps me going, during times of heart-wrenching grief, is the Spirit of Christ living within and my unshakable faith in God's Word and his unending love for me.

I might not know why, how or when, but I do know who. And when I place myself in his hands, and when I put my trust in his Word, and I keep my mind on him—the one who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all I can ask or think; the one who promised that all things "work together" for my good—peace beyond understanding envelops my soul, and I can keep on going for another day. No, it isn't easy—total trust in God—but it is the only route to finding peace.

"You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusts in thee."

Isaiah 26:3

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God Works From A Calendar All His Own

If I've learned anything at all in my journey as a believer, it is that God works from a calendar all his own. No matter what my calendar says, he's never late, and (alas) he's never early.

I recall an instance years ago, during a challenging time of unemployment.

With only a few hundred dollars left to my name, and no more unemployment checks coming in, I was a bit anxious about paying a mortgage without an income. However, I reminded God often that his Word promised to provide. I didn't know how, but I knew he would.

Out of the blue one day, I thought of a tax credit that I should've claimed the year before. How had I forgotten something so significant? Within a few weeks, I had researched the matter, filed the proper paperwork and received over six thousand dollars in the mail. The facts of my calendar said those funds came to me a year late, but the facts of God's calendar said they came when I needed them most.

And recently, while perusing through my Facebook messages, I found a message that had been sent to me over a year ago. I hadn't seen it at the time, because it had been diverted into a "spam" folder of sorts. 

“Hello, Gayle. You don’t know me,” the message began, and indeed, I did not. However, as I read this person's gracious words and sensed the honest emotions shared, I knew that the message had been diverted and delayed by divine design.

My immediate circumstances had me feeling worthless, as though my life had no value, no meaning, just a colossal waste of time. But the writings of this thoughtful stranger was God's way of assuring me that my life has eternal value, and nothing can ever rescind that.

The note ended like this: "I hope you realize the importance of your life, ministry and music, and how it has influenced others. It has instilled in me something that will never diminish.”

The facts of my calendar said those encouraging words were meant for me a year earlier, but the facts of God's calendar said I read them when I needed them most.

Romans 8:28 says: "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God." That scripture can be puzzling when your heart is heavier than bricks and you cry every day, no matter how hard you try not to. But every believer's journey is a journey of faith. You either trust God, or you don't.

The other night, while standing in my kitchen, tears falling like rain, I told God—in a very loud voice—that I still trust him. I don't understand the inky darkness surrounding me, Lord, and some days I can hardly breathe, my heart is so heavy within, but my faith in you will not waiver. It will not waiver, Lord! It will not waiver!

Though I can't see my hand in front of my face, I will trust you! Though the storms rage and the waves crash, I will trust you! Though the howling winds of sorrow blow, and blow, and BLOW, I will trust you, Lord! Today! Tomorrow! Always! You are the captain of my vessel, and even if it's dashed into a million tiny pieces, leaving nothing but me and the angry sea, I know you are with me, God, and you can walk on water. ♦

"Our soul waiteth for the Lord: he is our help and our shield," Psalm 33:20