Our Family Circle of Five

It is a cold evening in December. I have escaped the big city to spend a few hours with my parents in the old home place among the tall Texas pines. While Mother makes magic in the kitchen and Daddy studies his Bible in his favorite chair, I lay on the couch and count the many blessings God has bestowed. The list is endless, for sure.

The fact that I still have my parents in my life is a blessing without measure. To be able to call them and chat anytime I choose is something money cannot buy. But more importantly than just having them in my life—and I say this with utmost sincerity—I am grateful that they still live under one roof as husband and wife.

I am grateful that they still dine at the same table, ride in the same car, and worship at the same church. That I don’t have to spend this day with that one, and another day with the other one. That I can watch them cooing with my granddaughter and hugging on my kid.

I'm grateful we can laugh together about old memories, and sing together old songs, and share coffee, and crosswords and pie. That we can pray together and cry together. I'm glad that when I leave the big city and come to visit for a spell, they are both here waiting, like velvety pillars of steel, anxious to hug me and welcome me home.

It is what I’m most grateful for, on this cold December evening, as Mother makes magic in the kitchen and Daddy studies his Bible in his favorite chair. That our little family circle of five remains unbroken after all these years. ♦

"The greatest gift parents can give their children is to love each other for life."
Author Unknown

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Sexual Lust - A Devious and Deadly Thing

A few years ago, I saw a couple that I hadn't seen in a while. They were all smiles as they chatted with everyone in the room, but I found it hard to smile along. I knew that lust had brought them together, and that their actions had destroyed two families, leaving injured spouses and innocent children staggering through the wreckage like abandoned refugees. No matter how happy the couple might have been, I wasn't happy for them.

Sexual lust is a devious and deadly thing, and it has, undoubtedly, destroyed more homes in this country than all the tornadoes combined.

Source: Flicker.com

It starts silently, tiptoeing through the mind, looking for a place to weave its luring and wicked webs. It can't hang around without permission, of course, but if it's given one square inch of space, it mushrooms into this raging, almost unstoppable force, turning sensible people into senseless slaves, willing to do anything in order to dine at the table of forbidden fruit.

In some cases, that forbidden fruit is pornography. In other cases, it's someone else's spouse. In either case, the intoxicating grip of sexual lust knows no bounds.

While attending a seminar recently, I met a man who had been completely imprisoned by pornography.  It consumed everything he did, ultimately destroying his marriage and his career. I've also read numerous accounts of lust-filled spouses, gunning down anyone standing in their way—husbands, wives, children, parents, bosses, friends. Nothing is sacred once lust moves in.

And sadly, anywhere human beings are gathered, sexual lust is just a thought away...a wink away...an extended gaze away.

It might seem extreme to some, but after my divorce in 2002, I made a deliberate choice not to pal around with married couples, no matter how close the wives and I might have been. It was a decision I made out of respect for their marriages. It had nothing to do with trust. Everyone trusts themselves, I suppose, but none of us wear halos.

In his New Testament epistle, James writes: "Each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death."

Without question, sexual temptation is a beast of a battle to fight, and it often strikes without warning. However, Scripture tells us that God is faithful, and whenever lustful thoughts come sneaking through our heads, hoping to find room and board, a way of escape will be provided for those who seek one. ♦

“Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.” Psalm 19:14

Pondering Life and Love

It’s a cold, rainy, lovers-kind-of-night in the neighborhood. As a roaring fire crackles in the fireplace, I relax in my comfy chair, sip apple cider and ponder my life.

Seven years post-divorce and still single. Will I ever marry again? Some days I hope so; other days, not so much. Being alone doesn’t necessarily mean being lonely. I strive to be content.

Still, there are days of restlessness, wanting someone to love and be loved by. Someone to share life’s ups and downs, twists and turns, chaos and calm.

Just yesterday, while browsing the antique mall, I watched as couples walked past, holding hands, sharing thoughts about this, that or the other. Part of me wanted what they had—common interests; common dreams; common goals.

But did I want it badly enough?

Even when skies are blue, marriage is hard. For sure, mine was no exception. In our 20 years of togetherness, my husband and I were strangers in many ways—just making do and going through the motions. We had good times, of course, but our marriage was a struggle early on.

For sure, I wouldn't want another 20 years of making do and going through the motions. If I ever marry again, I want a deep relationship of mutual passions, where souls are exposed, desires are fulfilled and real love is made. A relationship that builds up and binds together. A love that seeks to serve—for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death does part us.

Above all else, I want a husband who understands that, as Christ loved the church to transform her into a "glorious bride," a husband’s unconditional love is a transforming gift to his bride, as well. It, alone, empowers her to surrender her very being without constraint. To feel desirable, despite her weaknesses and flaws. To let go of her heart, knowing it will be safe in her husband's strong, yet gentle, hands. Thus, his gift to her becomes her gift to him. She is free to love with an open, uninhibited, crazy kind of love.

Oh, it sounds really good, and it seems really simple. But I’m not sure that such love can even be found nowadays. And even if it can be, I don’t know if I’ve got the patience, the desire or the wits to look. So much baggage to sort through anymore. Multiple marriages. Multiple divorces. Children in multiple states. A red flag here. A red flag there. Here a flag. There a flag. Everywhere a red flag.

I know good marriages can come after divorce—I've seen some—but is it any wonder that divorce wasn't God's plan from the beginning? That marriage was meant to be a covenant between one man and one woman...until death? Divorce breaks things, and it leaves disconnected souls shuffling back and forth, to and fro, hoping to somehow, someday, someway, make a connection. Even to the strongest of hearts, it's disheartening at best.

And so, despite the cold, rainy lovers-kind-of-night in the neighborhood, I relax in my comfy chair, sip my cider and watch the fire alone. Will I ever marry again? Some days I hope so; other days, not so much. ♦
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